I’m trying out a new thing, recapping what I think are important parts of the episode. Feel free to chime in with comments below!

Name of the Episode: A is for A-L-I-V-E

Let’s talk about that for a second, WHAT THE WHAT???

In the last episode all the Liars (Aria, Emily, Hanna and Spencer), including the one we love to hate (Mona) all survived the Lodge fire only to find the mud encrusted police cruiser with its light a-flashing away. What’s a Liar to do? Look in the trunk, obviously! And what did they find? LET’S TALK ABOUT IT

A dead pig. Gross. Like actual WHOLE giant pig. Gross. Naturally, Crafty Mona jumps into action, disassembling the cruiser hard drive to “save” Hanna’s Mom. That’s awfully…nice of her.

And then came the Revelation Montage: Crafty Mona laid it all out. Which of A’s pawns did what, including the revelation that CeCe came to Radley and Crafty Mona thought she was Alison (claiming she was in a drug-induced haze). Who was recruited when, etc. All those facts should have had a bigger landing, they deserved more than a montage! Mona coming clean about some of the details does help with some of the most skin-crawly incidences. But she is still claiming she doesn’t know who Red Coat is.

Pile everyone in the car and drive past the crime scene: SUDDENLY WILDEN! Oh he’s loads of dead. Buckets of dead.

Back to the Lodge; we saw Toby surveying the wreckage. Naturally he’s playing with the lighter that was dropped near him after he was knocked out. Dumb, Toby. Really dumb. Toby sees a burnt up red coat. You KNOW that there’s no way Red Coat was in there.

Back in town is Alison’s mother, Creepy Mommy.

Crafty Mona has access to some sort of farm thingy and that’s where she and Hanna stash the Trailer of Secrets.

Spencer and Toby are back together, and Spencer reads that Wilden was shot. A lot. We know that Hanna’s Mom didn’t shoot him. So there’s another mystery that needs solving, hopefully in this Summer season. Who shot Wilden?

Fitz is back teaching at Rosewood High; Aria is not pleased. Naturally. Her imagination was running wild as she pictured well, pictures being sent to the Vice Principal and Fitz being led out of the building in handcuffs for sex with a minor. Thankfully for her psyche, it was just a daydream.

Emily and Paige have a lovefest and decide to move cross-country for college. Yeah, sure. That’ll happen. When Jenna confronts Emily to “give Toby a message, the obvious burn on her hand, c’mon. Really?? I hate mis-directions like that. I’m not sure we’re going to find out that Jenna was there at the Lodge, and whether or not she knows for sure who Red Coat is? I doubt it’s going to be a significant gem. With her blindness, she probably burned herself making Top Ramen or something.

The Funeral of Wilden; There’s a suspicious Black Veiled Lady. Well it wasn’t so much a veil as it was a THICK lace sheet hanging over whomever’s face. Aria has an awkward interaction with Fitz. Hanna wears an inappropriately sheer outfit. (Don’t get me wrong, it looked hot on her, but really??? It’s a funeral!) Crafty Mona and Spencer find the Viewing Room with the closed casket. The room suspiciously empty with as many people in attendance in the church. A phone rings (seriously, why doesn’t anyone in that town believe in silencing their cell phones? Movie theater experiences in Rosewood must suck!) And the caller i.d. for missed calls reveals the contact: Kisses as (dunh-dunh-DUNNNNH) ringing to Hanna’s Mom’s cell phone answered by Hanna!! BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

Courtesy of Toby’s flashback, we get to see something of his Mother. It looks like we’re going to get some more insight onto the “Why” of Toby’s recruitment into the A-team this season.

Back at the funeral Creepy Mommy has the Liars sit in her pew, with a backhanded compliment to Hanna. Afterwards, it appears we’ve got a new Too Young of a Cop [Amrie comment: Sean Faris, always a delight] in town. Whether or not he’s with our Liars or eventually against them is yet to be determined.

AND ALWAYS MY FIST-SHAKING-FAVORITE: The end scene where, surprise surprise, The Veiled Lady from the funeral is revealed to be in an A Lair wearing a half-burned Alison mask. (I love how it used to be a Zombie Baby but now it just blatantly looks like Alison). SCAAAAAA-RRRRRY!

Well? What did you think? Was the premiere worth the wait?