Has there ever been a certain house on your block that causes you to walk just a little faster to pass it? The sense of foreboding wafting off the porch, the feeling that the windows are actually looking at you and the house has teeth and the call is coming from inside the house??!?!?!  *ahem* Sorry, I was hearing the ominous screech of violins which always indicates “BE TERRIFIED IMMEDIATELY”. Frankly, every time a promotion for the newest FX show AMERICAN HORROR STORY (premiering tonight at 10/9c on FX) has come on, I get goose bumps, shiver and catch myself saying “That is so CREEPY” to no one in particular.

Taking the timeslot of RESCUE ME, AHS is your basic run-o-the-mill drama about a family with family problems. To solve those problems, the family moves from Boston to Los Angeles. Almost Swiss Family Robinson style in the sense that moving across the country insures that outside support systems like I dunno, friends are nowhere to be found. That’ll solve everything; it’s a perfect plan. Yeah, sure it is. As long as that family doesn’t move into a fully renovated and restored House of Evil they should be fine.

Starring Dylan McDermott, Connie Britton and Taissa Farmiga (Vera’s younger sister) as the Harmon Family, AHS promises to full the dark and twisted void of your Just After Prime Time television needs. McDermott is Dr. Ben Harmon, a psychiatrist desperate to reconnect with his understandably icy wife, Vivien (Britton), who is recovering emotionally and physically from a brutal miscarriage. With a hind-end like McDermott’s, it’s hard to comprehend WHY Vivien would be so cold, but wait, there’s always something, right? And there it is. Shrink Harmon is a cheat.  Hold the phone, it’s not that simple. While still contemptible, Dr. Harmon is a sympathetic character because he’s so….so….pathetic is the only word I can really think to use. The daughter is your typical angsty emo-cutter-kid, with the exception of the Debbie Gibson-esc hat she wears. Who’s with me? It’s a totally Electric Youth hat, right??

With the house, comes the weird. There’s a busy body klepto-neighbor, Jessica Lange who has a ridiculously scary daughter, a mysterious half-burned man, and last but certainly not least is Moira (Francis Conroy AND Alexandra Breckenridge), The Insta-Maid, who is embodied as both an old crone and a sex tart, complete with sexy maid’s outfit and garters. You’ll see what I mean.

To say that AMERICAN HORROR STORY is twisted is like saying slamming your head into a brick wall hurts. It’s right there in the name: Horror. With all the sex and madness FX can deliver, I opted to watch the pilot to AHS during the daytime, with all the windows open so the sunshine could fill the house. I’m a bit of a weenie though. It may not be scary “enough” for other viewers, but boy-howdy was it scary enough for me! As a viewer, the participation isn’t lacking. There were more than a few moments of “Don’t go DOWN THERE?!?!” and “Back AWAY from THAT!!! What is WRONG with you???” and the inevitable “What is happening?? What in the *expletive deleted* am I watching??”

Bringing the show in during October, by far the spookiest of months with all the networks touting Halloween-Fright Nights could help or hinder this budding creepy drama. I’m curious to where the story is going to go, the way of the bloody or will we get some redemption for our newest residents? I’ll be watching, but definitely not by myself and with every single light on in the house!