My Take Too: PRETTY LITTLE LIARS Summer Premiere – They’re back, bitches!

Oi oi!! The long wait for Liars is over! Episode 201: It’s Alive airs tonight at 8/7c on ABC Family; it meets all the requirements for a decent premiere episode. Recap, suspense, drama, sarcasm, half-naked people, and twists like a pretzel (the plotline, not the half-naked people).

First question of the season: Is Ian dead or what?? Last time we saw him he was dangling by the neck in a church bell tower. Shoved by “A” (we think?) to save Spencer. Save, right? I mean, “A” meant to do that, right? It appears that way; that’s how I’m gonna keep looking at it and then (gasp) Officer NoName informs our dear Liars that “There’s nobody there!” (cue the dun-dun-DUHN sound clip please) With the logical no-body, no-crime scenario that years of televised crime dramas have told us viewers, there’s now a murky cloud lurking over the whole Ian Being Dead Thing. Personally I’m leaning towards the rope-accidently-did-a-sleeper-hold-and-he-walked-away. But at this point, he could be a zombie. The spectrum for speculation is wide on this one, kids.

Much to my delight (yeah, I’m a square, so what?) the parents of the Liars are finally being grown-ups! After the first season, I was beginning to think that the adults of this show were of myth; however, this first episode they have a heavier influence over their teenage daughters and I for one was breathing sighs of relief! Very refreshing, I must say.

Emily fans, I’m sorry to deflate your hopes but it appears that inaugural girlfriend Maya is in the wind. Seems there’s been a tenant switch in the ole De Laurentis homestead which means that Maya and her non-existent hippie parents must have skedaddled. However, pay close attention to the identity of the new neighbor; the clue is in a very short exchange by Creepy Cop Guy Garett and blind-girl Jenna.

Smarmy, slimy Noel Kahn is back, too. Let’s just go ahead and add him to the short list of possible “A”s, shall we? Dude’s got sociopath written all over him; wait is Sociopath a new Axe Body Fragrance for Men? He should be the spokes model….I digress.

Lovely Hannah, my personal favorite – what? She is! She’s the singular character on this whole show that most resembles an ACTUAL teenager! Bumbly, sarcastic, adorably awkward in her insecurities, addicted to shopping; she’s a regular girl! I love that. [Amrie’s note: Totally predicatble spoiler alert] Caleb makes an appearance and I can’t tell if Hannah is getting her love-interest back or not. But I hope she does!

Once again, we have a terrific bi-polar performance from sister Melissa to Spencer. I swear, I’m going to start taking shots every time Spencer alludes to not being considered a real part of the family and leaves the room in a huff. Sidenote: when or if the Zombies do attack, I’m on Team Spencer. I’m just saying.

Finally, we come to Aria. Who is now apparently the only adult in her teacher-student-boyfriend-girlfriend-why-doesn’t-anyone-else-see-the-pedophilia-in-this-storyline-but-me relationship. Even though the relationship is one giant question mark, at least there’s a shirtless Mr. Fitz (thank you VERY much, ABC Family!) so that tends to make me feel almost ok. The impeccably coifed Aria utters my favorite line of the evening while speculating about the identity of “A” questions “He, She, Shim??” perfectly reflecting the perpetual question that has heads everywhere scratching.

While leaving more questions than answers, PRETTY LITTLE LIARS doesn’t disappoint in the entertainment department. As per usual with this show, it’s got my brain doing a foam rubber obstacle course trying to figure out just who is into what and why-dear-God-why?? (I say foam rubber because in this post-LOST television universe, I can’t take the hard stuff anymore. My brain got put through Navy Seal Hell Week on LOST, I need the seemingly easy “fluff” now.) The twists and turns were enough to whet the appetite and leave me looking forward to the second episode of the summer, I’ll definitely be watching! (Amrie’s note: Ditto!)

Check out a preview clip of tonight’s premiere here – are you going to watch?

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