Happy Sweeps Day 5!  The biggest news of the night isn’t that there are all kinds of new episodes of our favorites airing tonight, but that you A) MUST WATCH CHUCK and B) cannot forget that THE BIG BANG THEORY is airing its new episode at 9:00!!!

The 8:00 Hour –

ABC has another all new 1.5 hour episode of DANCING WITH THE STARS.  Over on CBS, catch all new episodes of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and RULES OF ENGAGEMENT is new.  On HIMYM, Robin realizes she is finally over Barney and Ted; Lily and Marshall decide to get twin beds.  On ROE, Jeff and an overly enthusiastic Audrey interview a potential surrogate mother; Russell makes fun of Adam and Jennifer’s wedding Web site.

FOX has has an all new episode of HOUSE. A woman questions her ailing fiance abou a past relationship while the team tries to diagnose him.  House, Foreman, and Chase head to a karaoke bar and sing some Gladys Knight.  NBC has an all new episode of CHUCK!  Chuck and Sarah train under the tutelage of a married CIA team (Swoosie Kurtz and Fred Willard), who have a glowing record together but despise one another.  Meanwhile, Casey trains Morgan on spy life.  Over on The CW, there’s an all new ONE TREE HILL – Alex uncovers a secret about her costar that could negatively impact Julian’s film.  Brooke faces the aftermath of her mom’s dalliance with Alexander.

There’s another all new episode of 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU on ABC Family.  Kat recruits Cameron to spy on Patrick, who’s been acting strange.  In other news, Joey sets his sights on a reality show about young models, and Bianca worries he’ll get an eating disorder.

The 9:00 Hour –

On ABC, DANCING WITH THE STARS continues until 9:30, followed by an all new episode of ROMANTICALLY CHALLENGED.  Rebecca and Perry head to their high school reunion, where Rebecca is haunted by a prom night humiliation.  Meanwhile, Shawn dates one of Lisa’s friends because she has the hockey championship games on her cable, and he doesn’t.  CBS has an all new THE BIG BANG THEORY (followed by a rerun)!  On the new TBBT, Sheldon tells a lie to appease both Leonard and Penny, who aren’t speaking to each other, but then he gets caught.  On the repeat TBBT, Sheldon hits a wall at work and starts working at the Cheesecake Factory with Penny.

NBC has a rerun of LAW AND ORDER.  A slain fashion-company owner puts the detectives in the path of a photographer who points them toward a website marred by threatening posts.  FOX an all new hour of 24.  Jack is hell-bent on avenging Renee’s death, and Taylor fights to keep the fragile peace process alive.  The CW has an all new GOSSIP GIRL. William’s presence in town continues to cause conflict.  Tensions mount between Serena, and Jenny.  Black checks out campus life at Columbia, and Dan uncovers another secret that Vanessa has been hiding from him.  A&E has an all new INTERVENTION as well.

The 10:00 Hour –

ABC has an all new episode of CASTLE – Beckett and Castle investigate the death of a big-name chef found frozen in a restaurant’s kitchen.  Castle is attracted to the restaurant’s owner, who happens to be an old friend of Beckett (and Veronica Mars – she’s played by Julie Gonzalo).  CBS has an all new CSI: MIAMI – a jewelry heist results in murder.  During the investigation, evidence is stolen from the lab and Delko locates the culprit.  LAW AND ORDER is all new on NBC – a model’s body is set on fire in an alley, sending Lupo and Bernard out to retrace teh steps of 2 party crashers who made an appearance at a political event.  Meanwhile, VanBuren faces health care woes.  MTV has an all new TRUE LIFE.

Showtime has all new episodes of NURSE JACKIE and THE UNITED STATES OF TARA.  On JACKIE, Jackie finds out that O’Hara’s girlfriend is cheating on her, and things with Eddie get even more complicated.  Also, an attempt at quality time takes a turn for the worse.  On TARA, Max is beside himself over a visit by a social worker.  Tara gets closer to Lynda (Kate’s friend).  Marshall and Courtney’s relationship hits a breaking point, and Neil finds out the truth about Char’s baby!